SAY WHAT?

1)TSA screeners win immunity from abuse claims. Fliers may have difficult time recovering damages for an invasive screening, aka groping. A ruling claims under a federal law that governs assaults, false arrests and abuses, since TSA screeners are not investigative or law enforcement officers this law doesn't apply. During a pat down, should the agent suffer a sudden attack of uncontrollable hand wandering this scenario could play out. Passenger: "Hey watch it."  TSA Screener: "Oh Yeah, YOU watch it. I got immunity."  

1) Southwest Airlines announced plans to ban peanuts from their flights as of August first. Possible reasons. Pretzels are cheaper and not wanting a passenger to have an allergic reaction to peanuts. It's hard to believe a person, allergic to peanuts, would not know it and eat them for the first time on a plane. If flying without peanuts is simply unthinkable, you could bring your own with you until the TSA disallows them.

1) The FAA has declared it is not its job to regulate seat size or legroom on planes. This was in response to a lawsuit filed by the group Fliers Rights. Since 1978 seats have moved 3 inches closer. The width of seats is around 17 inches and seat pitch has been reduced from 35 to 31 and even as low as 28. With the seats, the legroom and that tiny bag of what may or may not be trail mix, ain't flyin' grand? According to a source, someone at the FAA said. "Hey!  You want a bigger seat and more leg room, save up and fly first class. 

1) To paraphrase Spock's "Live Long and Prosper" "To Live Long Drink Coffee." A research project in Britain involving a half million adult coffee drinkers showed that, over a ten year period, they had a slightly lower risk of death. In the past we knew drinking coffee didn't help to sober a person up. It just made them a wide awake drunk. Also, coffee might help keep a person awake longer. But this is new, the lower risk of death was the same for instant, ground or decaf. Lattes didn't do diddly.

2) These are troubling times for honeybees.

1) America's stockpile of cheese is at its highest in more than 100 years.The USDA reports that America has 1.385 billion lbs. of cheese.The reason is cows are producing too much milk. Milk is easier stored as cheese. In 1981 we had an excess of cheese and President Reagan ordered it given to the poor. He was derided for that except by the poor who received the cheese. They did no deriding. There is probably no way to get cows to reduce their milk production. They are notoriously stubborn and a bit slow.

1) Thousands of Swedes are having NFC chips implanted between their thumb and index finger.  The chips can function as contactless credit cards and key cards. These are the same microchips that have been used to track animals and packages. Should the chip malfunction or a programming error occur it might mean Bjorn Faltskog appears to be Rudy the Labrador Retriever, and he's lost and so, incidentally, is his package somewhere in Brazil. Bjorn's credit card transaction is denied and he wonders how and what Rudy ordered that is in a package making its way through Brazil.

1) Researchers have developed a device that can make soldiers and vehicles disappear. It's called the Stealth Sheet. It made of bendable silicon, whatever that is. It can make something even as big as a tank invisible. I bet they got the idea from the Harry Potter's Invisibility Cloak. What's the Invisibility Cloak?  Ask your children or grandchildren. This could really be great for civilians who, for whatever reason, "need" be invisible. Much more effective than a ski mask.

1) After decades of commercial mountaineering, Mount Everest has become the highest "dump" in the world. The "Because It's There" crowd is leaving a ton of their garbage up there. Fluorescent tents, gas canisters, climbing equipment and waste. Five years ago, Nepal, instituted a garbage fine for not bringing their trash down.

1) #MeToo Absurdity. Netflix crew members, on hit shows, are now banned from lingering hugs, asking for phone numbers and the "piece de re-sis-tance" looking at one another for more than five seconds. Anonymous sources claim all employees will be issued stop watches so they never go over the 5 second limit. 

1) The Russians are building a death ray laser cannon capable of blasting targets in space. There is a lot of space junk and much of it is theirs. Of course, the Russians claim they will only use the laser to destroy items in orbit that pose a threat to any space craft leaving earth. They also claim that they will not blast satellites that they just don't like being up there. Russia vehemently denies, unconfirmed reports, the laser can also be directed at US voting machines.

1) "Was there life on Mars?" There might have been. "Curiosity" the NASA Mars Rover has been wandering around Mars since 2012. In the Gale Crater it found some "goopy" stuff, similar to oil, that may have been there for 3.5 million years. Also traces of methane have been discovered. Now we know oil comes from deceased dinosaurs and methane from gassy cows. Now when the Rover finds some discarded plastic bottles we'll know, along with the dinosaurs and cows, that there were Martians and they littered. We'll also know that plastic bottles DO last forever.

1) Well, this figures doesn't it? After years of separating garbage into different containers it turns out much of the stuff all ends up in landfills anyway. Good old China is one big reason. About 1/3 of recycled items get shipped abroad with China being the biggest importer. This year China imposed strict new rules which ban most of it. One company in Oregon now sends all its recycling to landfills. So, the next time you toss an empty SPAM can in the wrong container, you won't need to "container dive" to retrieve it. Just leave it where it is. "They" will.

1) We forget 90% of our dreams. Five minutes after waking up half of them are gone. After ten minutes, 90% are gone. 12% of sighted people dream only in black and white. Everybody else dreams in full color, unless your dream is on NBC, then it is in "Living Color." In our dreams we only see faces we already know. Our mind doesn't invent faces.

1) New Orleans based televangelist, Jesse Duplantis (photo right)is seeking donations to buy a Dussalult Falcon 7 X private jet. It doesn't come cheap at $54 million. Jesse claims he was told by God to believe for this specific plane since it can make longer trips and save money on fuel.Duplantis also said if Jesus came back today he wouldn't be traveling around on a donkey. I can buy that. I do think though, if he were flying, he wouldn't be on a private jet, he'd fly commercial in coach.

1) Japanese researchers suggest that Walking and Chewing Gum at the same time can help lose weight. Heart rates increased when doing both. We often hear that there are people, MANY it seems, who can't walk and chew gum at the same time. If you are unable to do this weight losing remedy you should Google can't walk and chew gum at the same time. They will suggest where to get help and add that to everything else they have on you.

1) The 15-year-old boy who started the Eagle Creek fire in the Colombia River Gorge east of Portland, last summer, has been ordered to pay over a $36,000,000 fine. This kid will need two after school jobs to pay off 36 mil. After enjoying getting everyone's attention, especially the boy with the fine, the judge acknowledges he can't pay the full judgement. It's likely the juvenile department will work out some affordable and realistic payment plan. 

1) Durango, a small town in Southwestern Colorado, has passed an ordinance the bans sitting or lying down on sidewalks, curbs, streets, railways (who would lie on a railway?), alleys and parking spaces from 7AM to 2:30AM. People can rest on benches but no dozing off. From 2:30AM until 7:00AM the ban is not in effect. So, you can get some get some rest or doze off during those hours but be sure to leave a 7:00AM wake up call.

1) American Airlines has announced restrictions on some animals on their flights. Not considered Support Animals: ferrets, hedgehogs and goats. The animals allowed can't occupy a seat, must fit at the passenger's feet or under the seat. Trained mini-horses are allowed. I can't imagine a mini-horse "mini" enough to fit under a seat. No insects are allowed so no support cockroaches. Growling, biting or attempting to bite, jumping or lunging at people is not allowed. Those restrictions apply to passengers along with Support Animals. 

1) A new Kansas law makes it a crime for police to have sex with people they pull over for traffic violations or detain in criminal investigations.One would have thought that was already illegal. Not so. In fact, in 33 states consensual sex between the detained and the detainee wasn't a crime. I suppose, prior to passing this law, some negotiation could result in reckless driving becoming failure to come to a complete stop. 

1)    Here we go again. Richard Lebow, a professor, found himself in an elevator with another professor, Simona Sharoni. She asked him what floor he needed and he said, "ladies' lingerie." Immediately, the alarm on her Misogyny Dector went off and she filed a complaint. He claimed it was just a stupid joke, he didn't intend to offend but her complaint was rather frivolous. Second mistake. Now Lebow is being threatened with disciplinary procedures. Considering this story, a quote from Matt Groening, the creator of the Simpsons, is right on target: "It's a time in our culture where people love to pretend they're offended."

1) A survey in Oklahoma found only one in ten children 6 to 12 wear a watch and of that number only one in five knew how to read an analog clock. It seems exposure to technology results in everyone being used to digital. Kids all have cell phones and tablets, so they don't look at an analog clock very often. Should a parent tell their kid to be home for dinner by a quarter after six, they will be met with a "Huh? When's that?"