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Tell Her You Voted for Stephen Colbert

April 02 2018
Written by Tom (Broken News) Murphy.


1) A home owner in Sacramento is selling her home but not to a Trump Supporter. Political Party doesn't fall into one of the seven protected classes of The Fair Housing Act. They are Race, Religion, Color, Disability, National Origin, Sex (although now that's negotiable) and familial status. If a Trump supporter really wants the house don't just say you voted for Hillary. Be creative, tell her you voted for Stephan Colbert. 



2) In India Surgeons removed 2350 gallstones from a 50 year old woman. Is that some sort of record you might ask? Nope. In 1987 23,530 gallstones were removed from an 85 year old woman in England after she complained of severe pain. Imagine that? Reports have it that the hospital needed to bring in a dump truck to haul them away. 

3) A clown convention was held recently in Bloomington Minnesota. Was it a group of politicians or "real" clowns? The answer to that question is open to the definitions of clown and real. To help, this was the World Clown Association Convention and they held workshops on juggling, mime, increasing the number of clowns in the little car and perfecting pies. FYI The pies are not full of Cool Whip but shaving cream.

4) An actress named Suzie Kennedy spent hours having her face and body scanned to produce a digital double of Marilyn Monroe. She will play her in a movie about her life.  Interesting that a Kennedy will be in a movie about Marilyn. I imagine this technology could bring back other stars. I'd like Humphrey Bogart brought back so he could say, "Here's lookin' at you again, kid."

5) At a cemetery in the UK, homeless people are moving tombstones and sleeping inside the graves. To prevent disturbing the people while sleeping.  "Whistling Past This Graveyard Is Prohibited."

Tom Murphy is a writer, humorist, actor, disc jockey and an occasional contributor to CityWatch. He lives in Los Angeles.)

-cw

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