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EDUCATION - Remember the good old days in middle school and what a great experience it was? Neither do I. For most of us it was a nightmare of being bullied and feeling outcast and lonely and angry and hurt…
The United States has a tremendous bullying problem. California tops the list in bullying. And Los Angeles tops the list in the state. LAUSD has a nearly 30% Bullying rate. PVPUSD (Palos Verdes Peninsula Unified School District) has a nearly 40% bullying rate. Only 28% of schools have any sort of no-bullying policy, and most of those have no teeth to stop the cycle. 100% of students said they have either witnessed bullying or have been a victim of it. Violence on school campuses is escalating. Suicide and self-harm are on the rise, along with severe depression. At the very least, absenteeism to avoid being bullied at school is increasing.
Hurting people want to hurt someone else because they hope it will make them feel better. For example, a Civil Air Patrol cadet (CAP) was bullying female cadets in his squadron. When confronted by the squadron commander, it turned out that he was being bullied at school and was filled with anger and frustration, thus lashing out at those he perceived as being weaker than he. The recent young girl is Reseda who was killed by a bully while defending her sister is another example of how out of control this issue is.
The State of California Board of Education states that it has a policy for schools to follow. After reading through this vague and non-specific “policy”, it basically leaves policies and consequences to school districts to create as they see fit. LAUSD kicks that can down the road leaving each school to create its own policy on bullying. One school dealing with a group of black, female bullies, brought the parents in and when they announced that the girls were going to be suspended, the parents angrily accused them of being racist. They threatened the school with legal action, saying that because they were black, they could sue the school district for being racist and discriminatory, and the school admins would be fired and discredited. The issue was promptly dropped, and the bullies continue to bully their victims with zero consequences. Parent conferences, suspension, or expulsion are ineffective ways of dealing with this problem.
So, what is the solution? Here are several suggestions for schools to consider implementing:
1. Parents and students sign a contract with the school at the start of each school year stating they agree to the rules of behavior and the consequences of violating the rules.
2. Upon breaking the contract, one parent must accompany their student through an entire school day, through every class, through lunch and PE. That parent is missing work and having to babysit their child at school. The student is having to deal with the embarrassment of having their parent sit with them an entire day, in front of their friends.
3. Student Court of peers with faculty and parent advisors. After answering specific questions, the student court, and advisors will work with the victim and parents to choose a consequence. Choices might include the bully providing “protection” for the victim for a specified length of time or writing an essay with specific questions in the counselor’s office by hand with no phone or computer. The counselor would redline the essay and have the student re-write it until it meets approval. Having to rewrite the essay several times imprints the thoughts that had to go into the essay.
4. Presenting to parents, staff and students a series of classroom discussions with interaction and role playing. And presenting programs for parents to access online about how to talk with their student and stop the cycle.
Bullying, unchecked, not only increases violence and self-harm, but also continues into interpersonal relationships and bullying in the workplace. Our children are our most valuable assets and hope for the future.
(Gayle Fleury is Co-Chair of the Wilmington Neighborhood Council. She is also the Founder and CEO of Angel Gowns of South Bay, a nonprofit dedicated to creating meaningful keepsakes for families in need.)
