VOICES

ACCORDING TO LIZ – (to the tune of “Grandma got run over by a reindeer”)

Grandma got sucked up by a tornado

Outside the trailer of her cousin Steve

Republicans call climate change a falsehood,

But as for me and Grandpa, we believe

They’d been playing gin rummy all morning

With a hefty emphasis on the gin

When the trailer was tumbled by the twisters

And Grandma, gin and cards were all sucked in

Auntie Joan stayed to fight the wildfires

When they closed every road to the town

She was admiring the distant pyro-cumulonimbus

When an inferno hopped the trees and took her down

Haliburton, Total, Shell and Exxon-Mobil

Whose greed drives the climate change assault

Though fires torched oil boom town Fort McMurray

Still claim global warming’s not their fault

Little Lil was swept off by a big flood

Her parents found her body the next day

She was buried upside down with her dolly...

Neither had had a chance to get away

Trump calls climate change a fabrication

A pretext to steal profits from the rich

Suck it up, Maga Man aficionados

Without scientific knowledge, life’s a bitch

Uncle Joe stroked when temps hit three figures,

And the heat index went even higher still

His Pitbull couldn’t stand up to protect him

Having collapsed like a cheesesteak on the grill

Joe’s son Bobby was crushed in a landslide

That slid down the hill above the bay

His wife fled when he went to save his Harley

Asked to leave it, he shouted out: “No way!”

Oh, Grandma got sucked up by a tornado,

Outside the trailer of her cousin Steve

The Freedom Caucus may call climate change a Big Lie

But as for me and Grandpa, we believe

Yes, as for me and Grandpa, we believe.