Sat, Jul

Once Swift, Now Slow As a Snail...It's Been a Week, Where's My Damn Mail?


THE DOCTOR IS IN - Am I the only one, the only one here,

Who's missing my mail, including bills I hold dear?


I still deem USPS my partner and friend,

But where's my mail, after absence without end?


I respect what they do, what they must confront,

But my mail's still gone, where must I now hunt?


When did it become normal, okay, and routine,

For the post office to degrade into a broken machine?


Is it money, more taxes, more cost to a stamp,

For me to end vigil, by mail slot to still camp?


I'm sure mail carriers must face a whole lotta bull,

But if this keeps up, when I shall go postal?


UPS and FedEx took things all by storm,

But is Postal "Non-Service" now our new norm?


And oh, my grave fears, my unfettered concern,

Have bills sent to right addresses taken a turn?


Must I conclude with bills sent to me wrong,

My own vital mail as well to others be among?


So should I not fret, or grow weary, or pale,

That within our new week, I'll get my damn mail? 


(Kenneth S. Alpern, M.D, is a dermatologist who has served in clinics in Los Angeles, Orange, and Riverside Counties, and is a proud husband and father to two cherished children and a wonderful wife. He was termed out of the Mar Vista Community Council (MVCC) twice after two stints as a Board member for 9, years and is also a Board member of the Westside Village Homeowners Association. He previously co-chaired the MVCC Outreach, Planning, and Transportation/Infrastructure Committees for 10 years. He was previously co-chair of the CD11 Transportation Advisory Committee, the grassroots Friends of the Green Line (which focused on a Green Line/LAX connection), and the nonprofit Transit Coalition His latest project is his fictional online book entitled The Unforgotten Tales of Middle-Earth and can be reached at [email protected]. The views expressed in this article are solely those of Dr. Alpern.)