Comments@THE GUSS REPORT-Whatever they're spiking the community punch bowl with at the El Segundo Times commissary, its after-effects sound blissful.
The public relations agency (f/k/a The Los Angeles Times) would have you believe that LA Mayor Eric Garcetti, riddled with failure and mired in scandal, turned down a gelatinous job offer from President-elect Joe Biden, so he can keep racking up losses for LA.
Okay then, okay. I am formally announcing that, despite pursuing me as a centerfielder for the 2021 season, I decline to play for the Dodgers so I can keep writing this column.
A month ago, I provided a list of eight excuses from which Garcetti would draw to explain why he isn't joining the Biden administration; a painfully obvious forecast, with Excuse #1: "I love LA and my work here isn't finished."
Nailed it.
And so, could anyone else not sipping from the Times' punch bowl.
What the Times did last week just five hours after reporting that a judge ordered Garcetti to sit under oath for a deposition in the sexual harassment lawsuit filed by Matt Garza, his former LAPD bodyguard, is distraction journalism. "Don't look over there," the Times essentially said to draw attention away from the judge's ruling. "Look over here! Garcetti has chosen to not join the Biden administration!"
Then the Times did it again.
Two days later, its reporter Dakota Smith, who is fond of asking this column for information but refusing to credit it, wrote another story declaring how relieved LA is that Garcetti is staying to finish his term.
When was the last time anyone you know praised Eric Garcetti and fretted about the possibility of his leaving LA, such that it is newsworthy?
What most likely went down between Biden, his handlers and Garcetti was a conversation that went something like this:
"Look, Eric, you have the nation's worst homeless; Black Lives Matter protests you 24/7; you falsify statistics on how many dogs and cats you kill; you endorsed George Gascon for District Attorney; your pals are prison-bound for corruption; the LAPD is hiding your dirty little secrets; and you claim that you never saw your right-hand man Rick Jacobs sexually harass other men right under your nose despite salacious photographic evidence that even the LA Times wouldn’t hide! So let's float the idea that you may be a mid-term bench replacement, Ambassador to Mexico or Minister of Gobbledygook in a few years, provided you keep your nose clean. We will give you a few weeks to get the Times to say this is your decision so you can save face."
Dutifully, the Times did its part, to its ongoing detriment.
There wasn't a snow cone's chance in Vegas that Joe Biden and his handlers would invite Garcetti's chaos into an administration already struggling with controversies weeks before it launches.
Despite Garcetti being an early endorser of Biden, the President-elect chose small-town mayor Pete Buttigieg, who during his own presidential campaign attacked Biden as a lifelong D.C. swamp-dweller, for one of Garcetti's wish list gigs, Transportation Secretary, despite his not having a shred of experience.
That's how clearly Biden is distancing himself from Garcetti. He chose an adversary with zero experience over Garcetti, an early supporter who is a prime blackmail target.
Kudos to Politico for its clear-eyed breakdown of the matter, titled "For Garcetti, there's no escape from L.A.," which quotes Black Lives Matter organizer Melina Abdullah as saying of Garcetti, "He ain't gonna be secretary of s---.....We're glad to not see him failing forward."
Look, we understand why the LA Times puts out political propaganda for its favorites. It invested a lot of its credibility in a feller like Garcetti. Endorsing him for Mayor on February 17, 2013, it wrote, "Garcetti, if elected, is more likely to be an effective and successful mayor." Despite all of his tumult and lies, it doubled down on Garcetti encouraging his re-election, writing on February 4, 2017, "Endorsement: There's room for improvement, but Eric Garcetti deserves a second term as L.A.'s mayor."
That's how gullible the helmless (see photo above of LATimes owner Dr. Patrick Soon-Shiong), continuously struggling LA Times thinks we are. Despite everything that Garcetti squandered, including its endorsements of him, it keeps providing utterly irrational cover.
As to my future with the Dodgers, after I inform them that I won't be joining them for the 2021 season, I will break the same bad news to the Lakers, waiting for me to sign with its franchise since high school.
LeBron James is taller and faster, but my jump shot and passing are better. The LA Times says so, despite all evidence to the contrary, so it must be the truth.
(Daniel Guss, MBA, was runner-up for the 2020 Los Angeles Press Club journalism award for Best Online Political Commentary and has contributed to CityWatch, KFI AM-640, iHeartMedia, 790-KABC, Cumulus Media, Huffington Post, Los Angeles Daily News, Los Angeles Magazine, Movieline Magazine, Emmy Magazine, Los Angeles Business Journal, Pasadena Star News, Los Angeles Downtown News, and the Los Angeles Times in its Sports, Opinion and Entertainment sections and Sunday Magazine, among other publishers. Follow him on Twitter @TheGussReport. His opinions are his own and do not necessarily reflect the views of CityWatch.) Photo above, left: (Danny Moloshok / Associated Press) Prepped for CityWatch by Linda Abrams.
