Antonio and Herb and the Los Angeles Open
- 07 Feb 2012
- Written by ‘Screenplay’ by Jack Humphreville
COMMENTARY LITE - Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa and City Council President Herb Wesson are playing for the golf championship of Los Angeles.
The match is halved at the end of 17 holes. The Mayor has the honor and hits his ball a controlled two hundred fifty yard drive right down the middle of the fairway, leaving a simple six iron to the pin.
Herb, dapper as ever in his Harold & Belle's sponsored golfing outfit, then hits his ball, lofting it deep into the woods to the right of the fairway.
The Mayor, being a true golfing gentleman, volunteers to help his drinking and cigar smoking buddy Herb hunt for his ball. After all, they have a long relationship dating back to their days and late nights in Sacramento.
Just before the permitted five minute search period ends, Herb says: "Go ahead, Antonio, hit your second shot and if I don't find my ball in time, I'll concede the match."
Antonio hits his ball, landing it on the green, stopping about ten feet from the pin.
The crowd of City Hall lobbyists, cronies and supplicants burst into applause at this beautiful shot and cheer the smiling Mayor as he struts up to the green.
About the time the cheering ends, he hears Herb exclaim from deep in the woods: "I found it!"
The second sound Antonio hears is a click, the sound of a club striking a ball. The ball sails out of the woods and lands on the green, stopping no more than six inches from the hole.
The Ring Kissers go wild at this beautiful shot. What a match!
So what is Antonio to do?
He could lose the match and the bet that involves two cases of one the finest Chateau Haut-Brion vintages (over $2,000 a bottle) and a box of the finest Cuban cigars.
Such a quandary, especially since Antonio has Herb's ball in his pocket!
And now, Angelenos, you understand why we need an independent Financial Control Board to insure that the financial dealings of the City of Los Angeles are open and transparent, that are Elected Elite are held accountable, and that the City lives within its means, where the budget is truly balanced, our lunar cratered streets and rapidly deteriorating infrastructure are properly repaired and maintained, and the short changed pension plans are fully funded based on realistic assumptions.
After all, it is our City.
Tags: Antonio Villaraigosa, Herb Wesson, Los Angeles, Financial Control Board
Vol 10 Issue 11
Pub: Feb 7, 2012