#  The $500 Apple

     Details    Tom (Broken News) Murphy   ![logo](https://www.citywatchla.com//templates/ja_teline_v/images/logo.png)         April 26 2018       [SAY WHAT?](https://www.citywatchla.com/say-what)   - [  Previous Article **‘Not Tonight. I have a Headache’** ](https://www.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=15364:not-tonight-i-have-a-headache&catid=376)
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> 1\) On a Delta flight from Paris the passengers were given an apple towards the end of the flight. Crystal Tadlock put it in her carry-on to eat later. US Customs randomly searched her bag and the apple was found. Since it is illegal to bring in undocumented apples the Customs agent did his duty. He asked her if her trip was expensive. She said "yeah." "Well, it's about to get more expensive after I charge you $500.00." Real Cute Ass-Clown. Delta should have advised passengers not to take the apples off the plane. Crystal should advise Delta her next flight will be on another airline.

2\) A French based porn producing firm has filed a lawsuit against the heirs of a Saudi Prince. The former Minister of Foreign Affairs passed away in 2015. The film company claims they produced "custom" porn for him. He became "the dearly departed" owing them 90,000 euros. Porn protocols are very implicit. It is absolutely verboten to stiff your porn provider.

3\) India is the birth place of chess. The original word for chess is the Sanskrit chaturangd meaning four members of the army. It's likely that referred to elephants, horses, chariots and foot soldiers. Throw this one out and watch it kill the conversation.

4\) Some interesting stats on UFO sightings came to light recently.Wyoming has the most, per capita, and California also does well. There are, according to this report, 40,000 insurance policies against being abducted. So if you end up in "The Probing Hands of Aliens", and survive, you can then turn to "The Good Hands People." Here's a tip.Always have your smart phone with you. You will need video to prove you were abducted and probed.

5\) Calexit still exists. The group Yes California received the go ahead to collect signatures for a 2020 ballot measure to "ask voters whether California should become an independent country." This third try might be a good idea. Not seceding but just giving the people gathering the signatures something to do.

 *(Tom Murphy is a writer, humorist, actor, disc jockey and an occasional contributor to CityWatch. He lives in Los Angeles.)*

*-cw*

  - [  Previous Article **‘Not Tonight. I have a Headache’** ](https://www.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=15364:not-tonight-i-have-a-headache&catid=376)
- [  Next Article **The Undeliverance Starring the Overwhelmed** ](https://www.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=15319:the-undeliverance-starring-the-overwhelmed&catid=376)
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