---

 [ LOS ANGELES ](https://www.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&id=312)

#  Drive Like Your Kids Live Here

POLITICS--On the [mourning \[sic\] after](http://www.cnn.com/2016/11/09/opinions/election-trump-victory-opinion-roundup/index.html) I was brought up short by this common lawn sign.

It seemed to me then that few really comprehended the tragedy our children were experiencing.

Parents got it, at least the “attached” ones; I had been sympathizing all day with multiple, numerous parents who had all been wide awake at four am rocking and comforting, holding children – even teenagers – who simply could not sleep. Inconsolable they trembled, they cried, they were just so fearful that sleep would never come. They seemed not to have developed the coping mechanism of maturity that enables sticking one’s head in the sand or underneath the covers and simply willing oblivion in the form of sleep.

I was always enamored of the parenting philosophy that exhorted [not lying to children with false platitudes about](http://www.handinhandparenting.org/article/the-cries-that-bind-connecting-with-children/) “everything being OK” when reality dictates that no one knows what will be, OK or otherwise, and moreover, our children never were so dumb as to not know this. The prudent course, the philosophy urges, is to assert no untruths, just be there, rock in solidarity and sympathy, hold and touch and breath together.

By now I think it is clear to many the urgency and fear our children reflexively expressed that night. So many of us adults thought to count to ten, wait, [give patience and forbearance a chance](http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2015/08/donald-trump-voters/401408/). Our children felt otherwise.

Time belies the [wisdom of “maturity”, sometimes](http://www.truth-out.org/news/item/38561-hundreds-of-students-report-bullying-threats-and-attacks-in-weeks-after-the-election). The rogue’s gallery of advisers and actors is a [searing signal of the pain to come](http://www.nytimes.com/2016/12/02/opinion/seduced-and-betrayed-by-donald-trump.html), the nail in the coffin of America’s lower 99%, and all quite independent of the bogus claims of the orange scalawag.

It’s not new, any of this. People have been warning against the aspirational lure of two-birds-in-the-bush trumping one-in-hand since time immemorial. People abdicating their best interests in favor of a pipe-dream is one of mankind’s older stories, as is the corollary pain of choosing the lesser of two evils: *[Ecclesiastes IX – A living dog is better than a dead lion](http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/a-bird-in-the-hand.html)*.

Day after day the Golden Rule remains unassailable, if reworked for Californian car-culture: *Drive Like Your Kids Live Here.* They’re watching you, they’re learning from you, your job is to secure their future. In their future lies your best interest.

But with this election we have repudiated our children alongside the parable. We have sanctioned [separation and segregation](http://www.eclectablog.com/2016/11/trump-names-betsy-devos-as-secretary-of-education-its-game-set-match-for-public-education.html), different rules for different folks; a Wall.

This is [a time of crisis](http://billmoyers.com/story/bill-mckibben-trump-climate/), to decide [whether the fear is substantive or metaphoric](http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/nov/30/donald-trump-george-monbiot-misinformation), whether this is [the second for action](http://jillstein.nationbuilder.com/recount) or [watchful waiting](http://www.latimes.com/business/hiltzik/la-fi-hiltzik-cal-secession-20161127-story.html).

I approve the advice from one child’s teacher: “Brush Your Teeth and Do Your Homework”.

But I wish I knew how to steer clear of our children’s fears.

*(Sara Roos is a politically active resident of Mar Vista, a biostatistician, the parent of two teenaged LAUSD students and a CityWatch contributor, who blogs at*[ *redqueeninla.com*](http://redqueeninla.com/)*)*

*-cw*

Written by Sara Roos.

 ![](https://www.citywatchla.com/images/stories/Dec-2016/098y.png)

December 05 2016

<a class="a2a_button_facebook"></a><a class="a2a_button_twitter"></a><a class="a2a_button_email"></a><a class="a2a_button_print"></a>[](https://www.addtoany.com/share)

 [Comments](#disqus_thread)

POLITICS--On the [mourning \[sic\] after](http://www.cnn.com/2016/11/09/opinions/election-trump-victory-opinion-roundup/index.html) I was brought up short by this common lawn sign.

It seemed to me then that few really comprehended the tragedy our children were experiencing.

Parents got it, at least the “attached” ones; I had been sympathizing all day with multiple, numerous parents who had all been wide awake at four am rocking and comforting, holding children – even teenagers – who simply could not sleep. Inconsolable they trembled, they cried, they were just so fearful that sleep would never come. They seemed not to have developed the coping mechanism of maturity that enables sticking one’s head in the sand or underneath the covers and simply willing oblivion in the form of sleep.

I was always enamored of the parenting philosophy that exhorted [not lying to children with false platitudes about](http://www.handinhandparenting.org/article/the-cries-that-bind-connecting-with-children/) “everything being OK” when reality dictates that no one knows what will be, OK or otherwise, and moreover, our children never were so dumb as to not know this. The prudent course, the philosophy urges, is to assert no untruths, just be there, rock in solidarity and sympathy, hold and touch and breath together.

By now I think it is clear to many the urgency and fear our children reflexively expressed that night. So many of us adults thought to count to ten, wait, [give patience and forbearance a chance](http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2015/08/donald-trump-voters/401408/). Our children felt otherwise.

Time belies the [wisdom of “maturity”, sometimes](http://www.truth-out.org/news/item/38561-hundreds-of-students-report-bullying-threats-and-attacks-in-weeks-after-the-election). The rogue’s gallery of advisers and actors is a [searing signal of the pain to come](http://www.nytimes.com/2016/12/02/opinion/seduced-and-betrayed-by-donald-trump.html), the nail in the coffin of America’s lower 99%, and all quite independent of the bogus claims of the orange scalawag.

It’s not new, any of this. People have been warning against the aspirational lure of two-birds-in-the-bush trumping one-in-hand since time immemorial. People abdicating their best interests in favor of a pipe-dream is one of mankind’s older stories, as is the corollary pain of choosing the lesser of two evils: *[Ecclesiastes IX – A living dog is better than a dead lion](http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/a-bird-in-the-hand.html)*.

Day after day the Golden Rule remains unassailable, if reworked for Californian car-culture: *Drive Like Your Kids Live Here.* They’re watching you, they’re learning from you, your job is to secure their future. In their future lies your best interest.

But with this election we have repudiated our children alongside the parable. We have sanctioned [separation and segregation](http://www.eclectablog.com/2016/11/trump-names-betsy-devos-as-secretary-of-education-its-game-set-match-for-public-education.html), different rules for different folks; a Wall.

This is [a time of crisis](http://billmoyers.com/story/bill-mckibben-trump-climate/), to decide [whether the fear is substantive or metaphoric](http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/nov/30/donald-trump-george-monbiot-misinformation), whether this is [the second for action](http://jillstein.nationbuilder.com/recount) or [watchful waiting](http://www.latimes.com/business/hiltzik/la-fi-hiltzik-cal-secession-20161127-story.html).

I approve the advice from one child’s teacher: “Brush Your Teeth and Do Your Homework”.

But I wish I knew how to steer clear of our children’s fears.

*(Sara Roos is a politically active resident of Mar Vista, a biostatistician, the parent of two teenaged LAUSD students and a CityWatch contributor, who blogs at*[ *redqueeninla.com*](http://redqueeninla.com/)*)*

*-cw*

 [ ![LA DWP #2 (Pay Your Bill Help)](https://www.citywatchla.com/images/LADWP/dwp%20level%20pay%205-7-25.jpg) ](https://www.citywatchla.com/component/banners/click/82 "LA DWP #2 (Pay Your Bill Help)")

 ![](https://www.citywatchla.com/images/banners/signup-for-cw.png)

## Get The News In Your Email Inbox Mondays &amp; Thursdays

 Name

 [ ![Home - HHR Rent is too High - SB-2](https://www.citywatchla.com/images/HHR/AHF-rent-too-high.jpg) ](https://www.citywatchla.com/component/banners/click/104 "Home - HHR Rent is too High - SB-2")

 ---

##  Featured CityWatch Stories

 [ ![](https://www.citywatchla.com/media/yootheme/cache/34/065h-34e1b43b.jpg) ](https://www.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33212:reminder-to-the-red-states-turnabout-is-fair-play&catid=395)

### [Reminder to the Red States, Turnabout is Fair Play](https://www.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33212:reminder-to-the-red-states-turnabout-is-fair-play&catid=395)

GELFAND’S WORLD - Indiana has been pounded by rains that resulted in widespread flooding. While the rain was still comi…

 [ ![](https://www.citywatchla.com/media/yootheme/cache/d8/066m-d8f0fac6.jpg) ](https://www.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33229:democrats-finally-tell-iowa-and-new-hampshire-you-dont-go-first-anymore&catid=395)

### [Democrats Finally Tell Iowa and New Hampshire: You Don’t Go First Anymore](https://www.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33229:democrats-finally-tell-iowa-and-new-hampshire-you-dont-go-first-anymore&catid=395)

GELFAND’S WORLD - Earlier in the week, the Democratic National Committee did something good. Mind you it wasn’t great…

 [ ![](https://www.citywatchla.com/media/yootheme/cache/d0/065o-d02f23ac.jpg) ](https://www.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33213:californias-empty-classrooms-are-a-warning-sacramento-cant-ignore&catid=378)

### [California’s Empty Classrooms Are a Warning Sacramento Can’t Ignore](https://www.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33213:californias-empty-classrooms-are-a-warning-sacramento-cant-ignore&catid=378)

A STUDENT'S VIEW - California is spending more on public education, yet classrooms are emptying, campuses are closing…

 [ ![](https://www.citywatchla.com/media/yootheme/cache/df/065q-dfb89383.jpg) ](https://www.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33224:john-mckinney-on-what-separates-the-city-attorney-candidates&catid=401)

### [John McKinney on What Separates the City Attorney Candidates](https://www.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33224:john-mckinney-on-what-separates-the-city-attorney-candidates&catid=401)

INTERVIEW - Voters will have a clear and defining contrast in the goals and objectives of the remaining general electio…

 [ ![](https://www.citywatchla.com/media/yootheme/cache/da/066j-daf22e28.jpg) ](https://www.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33231:a-prisoner-a-peacemaker-and-israels-defining-choice&catid=375)

### [A Prisoner, A Peacemaker, and Israel’s Defining Choice](https://www.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33231:a-prisoner-a-peacemaker-and-israels-defining-choice&catid=375)

P.O.V - Marwan Barghouti remains one of the most consequential—and controversial—figures in the Israeli-Palestinian con…

---

##  [ LOS ANGELES ](https://www.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&id=312)

 [ ![](https://www.citywatchla.com/images/stories/Aug-2026/066o.jpg) ](https://www.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33239:why-some-los-angeles-car-accident-claims-become-harder-to-prove&catid=312)### [Why Some Los Angeles Car Accident Claims Become Harder to Prove](https://www.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33239:why-some-los-angeles-car-accident-claims-become-harder-to-prove&catid=312)

 [ ![](https://www.citywatchla.com/images/stories/Aug-2026/066n.jpg) ](https://www.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33228:lausd-demolishes-closed-schools-wasting-public-assets-and-community-hopes&catid=312)### [LAUSD Demolishes Closed Schools, Wasting Public Assets and Community Hopes](https://www.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33228:lausd-demolishes-closed-schools-wasting-public-assets-and-community-hopes&catid=312)

 [ ![](https://www.citywatchla.com/images/stories/Aug-2026/066h.jpg) ](https://www.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33234:homelessness-among-seniors-spikes-in-los-angeles-county-but-its-not-hopeless&catid=312)### [Homelessness Among Seniors Spikes in Los Angeles County, But It’s Not Hopeless](https://www.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33234:homelessness-among-seniors-spikes-in-los-angeles-county-but-its-not-hopeless&catid=312)

 [ ![](https://www.citywatchla.com/images/stories/Aug-2026/065m.jpg) ](https://www.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33215:a-second-karen-bass-term-gets-her-and-us-four-more-years-of-well-earned-voter-outrage&catid=312)### [A Second Karen Bass Term Gets Her (and Us) Four More Years Of Well-Earned Voter Outrage](https://www.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33215:a-second-karen-bass-term-gets-her-and-us-four-more-years-of-well-earned-voter-outrage&catid=312)

 [ ![](https://www.citywatchla.com/images/stories/Aug-2026/065l.jpg) ](https://www.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33216:the-cynicism-of-homelessness&catid=312)### [The Cynicism of Homelessness](https://www.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33216:the-cynicism-of-homelessness&catid=312)
<div data-id="1" 
	class="eb-inst eb-hide eb-emailform eb-1 eboxContentLocker"
	data-options='{"trigger":"onPageLoad","trigger_selector":"","delay":3000,"early_trigger":true,"scroll_depth":"percentage","scroll_depth_value":80,"firing_frequency":1,"reverse_scroll_close":true,"threshold":0,"close_out_viewport":false,"exit_timer":1000,"idle_time":10000,"close_on_esc":false,"animation_open":"slideInDown","animation_close":"fadeOutDown","animation_duration":400,"disable_page_scroll":true,"test_mode":false,"debug":false,"ga_tracking":true,"ga_tracking_id":"G-P16BQ7X1SW","ga_tracking_event_category":"EngageBox","ga_tracking_event_label":"Box #1 - Global Email Signup Form","auto_focus":false}'
	data-type='popup'
	>

	<button type="button" data-ebox-cmd="close" class="eb-close placement-outside" aria-label="Close">
	<img alt="close popup button" />
	<span aria-hidden="true">&times;</span>
</button>
	<div class="eb-dialog eb-formVer" role="dialog" aria-modal="true" id="dialog1" aria-label="dialog1">
		
		<button type="button" data-ebox-cmd="close" class="eb-close placement-inside" aria-label="Close">
	<img alt="close popup button" />
	<span aria-hidden="true">&times;</span>
</button>	
		<div class="eb-container">
						<div class="eb-content">
				
<form action="https://citywatchla.us2.list-manage.com/subscribe/post?u=34d69f33624fd058ee9b56516&amp;id=4bfa422f51&amp;f_id=00d6c2e1f0" class="eb" method="post" id="mcform-1" name="mcform-1" target="_blank">
			<div class="eb-form-header"><p><img src="/images/2023/06/be-a-city-watcher.png" alt="be a city watcher" width="350" height="97" loading="lazy" data-path="local-images:/2023/06/be-a-city-watcher.png"></p>
<p>Sign up to receive our special e-news blasts on Monday and Thursday evenings!</p></div>
	
					<div class="eb-field-row">

			
			
			
			<input class="eb-input" type="email" name="EMAIL"  placeholder="Email address"  id="EMAIL" value="" required>

			
		</div>
										
	<div class="eb-footer">
    	<button class="eb-btn" type="submit" name="subscribe" style="background-color:rgba(93, 183, 93, 1);color:rgba(255, 255, 255, 1)">
    		Sign up    	</button>
    </div>
</form>			</div>
		</div>
	</div>	
</div>
<div data-id="3" 
	class="eb-inst eb-hide eb-yesno eb-3 "
	data-options='{"trigger":"onScrollDepth","trigger_selector":"","delay":0,"early_trigger":false,"scroll_depth":"percentage","scroll_depth_value":80,"firing_frequency":2,"reverse_scroll_close":false,"threshold":0,"close_out_viewport":false,"exit_timer":1000,"idle_time":1000,"close_on_esc":false,"animation_open":"fadeInUp","animation_close":"fadeOut","animation_duration":300,"disable_page_scroll":false,"test_mode":false,"debug":false,"ga_tracking":true,"ga_tracking_id":"G-P16BQ7X1SW","ga_tracking_event_category":"EngageBox","ga_tracking_event_label":"Box #3 - Yes \/ No Donation Popup Box","auto_focus":false}'
	data-type='popup'
	>

	<button type="button" data-ebox-cmd="close" class="eb-close placement-outside" aria-label="Close">
	<img alt="close popup button" />
	<span aria-hidden="true">&times;</span>
</button>
	<div class="eb-dialog " role="dialog" aria-modal="true" id="dialog3" aria-label="dialog3">
		
		<button type="button" data-ebox-cmd="close" class="eb-close placement-inside" aria-label="Close">
	<img alt="close popup button" />
	<span aria-hidden="true">&times;</span>
</button>	
		<div class="eb-container">
						<div class="eb-content">
				
<div class="ebox-yes-no">
	<div class="ebox-yn-text">
		
		
		<div class="ebox-yn-headline" style="font-size:22px;color:#888888">
			<p>If you only give once a month, would you consider giving to CityWatch?</p>
<p>Your support fuels our mission to promote and facilitate civic engagement and neighborhood empowerment, and to hold area government and its politicians accountable.</p>
<p>Would you like to help? Even if you can only give $5, it will make a difference.</p>		</div>
			</div>
	
	<div class="ebox-ys-buttons" style="font-size: 16px;">
		
<a
					data-ebox-prevent="0"
		data-ebox-cmd="close"
				target="_self"
		href="https://www.citywatchla.com/donate"
		rel="noopener"
	
	
	
	
	class="ebox-ys-btn"
	style="background-color:#2ec664;color:#ffffff;min-width:100px">
	Yes
	</a>
<a
	
	
			data-ebox-cmd="close"
		href="#"
	
	
	class="ebox-ys-btn"
	style="background-color:#ef2345;color:#ffffff;min-width:100px">
	Not Right Now
	</a>	</div>

	</div>			</div>
		</div>
	</div>	
</div>
