Life: Don’t Take it Personally

WELLNESS--In his book “The Four Agreements” the author Don Miguel Ruiz speaks eloquently about one of those four agreements, which took me years to learn, do not take things personally. 

As we grow up, many of us have become people pleasers because we want to be liked. We learn to identify our popularity with how many friends we have and often if we hurt somebody, we take it very personally. 

While being conscious of others feelings is the right way to move through life, there does come a point when we realize that there is absolutely NO way we can make everybody happy. There is no way that everyone will like us or agree with our choices. When we become fully awake to this truth, it’s as if a weight has lifted and a freedom takes over. 

I suppose with maturity and life experience, this comes more easily because we have learned the hard way. We have strained and struggled to satisfy and to serve only to find out that it’s impossible to have a perfect track record in our relationships. And while there were certainly times in our past where we should learn from our mistakes, there also comes a time to accept that we are just fine the way we are regardless of what others think. 

By releasing the need to have perfect relationships and to impress others, we are freed up to be more authentically ourselves. We begin to embrace our insecurities and vulnerabilities, realizing that those very things are what make us unique and beautiful. 

By reminding ourselves that what other people think of us is none of our business and by realizing their opinions and viewpoints are really a reflection on them, we can move forward and put energy into the things that count. 

This in no way implies that we can be unkind or cold towards others but instead it means that we simply do our best without attachment to what others think. Always strive to be helpful and caring and unconditionally loving and be open to input from those that count while knowing that no matter how much we do, we will not satisfy everyone. 

In this world of social media we often open ourselves up to a great deal of potential judgment. Remember do NOT take it personally. Continue on your mission, do the best you can, and release the need to please.  

Find that happy balance between loving yourself and others and remember to always trust your own intuitive guidance. If others disagree with your decisions, gently go back to that quiet voice within and learn to trust it more than others opinions. We know the truth. We understand what’s best for us. Sometimes that path may be bumpy and difficult and yes we will make mistakes along the way but most often our path leads us to more strength, resolve, and happiness than we could ever imagine even when others tell us differently.


(Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Expert Living in Los Angeles. He is the Best-Selling Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!)