20
Sat, Apr

Fake News Vol V

SAY WHAT?

This Just In: Movement to Ban Assault Burritos 

#1. A Taco Bell employee, in Alabama, is in trouble for throwing a "Hot Burrito" at his boss. It hit her, too. There are already moves afoot, if not to impose an outright ban, at the very least, to severely regulate Assault Burritos.


#2.  Mohammed is becoming a popular name. In Austria it's #3, it's moving up in Germany and it is the most popular name in Israel. No data on how Mohammed is doing in the US but it's likely to have already passed LaMar.



#3.  After 20 years in a wildlife sanctuary in England, Harold the Vulture finally laid an egg. So, he was a she. Why no suitors? Probably, even for a Vulture she wasn't that attractive and maybe let it be known "She wasn't that kind of Vulture." Well, after 20 years she might have decided to try "Being That Kind Of Vulture".  It worked.

#4.  Beverly Hills plans to install 600 TV cameras around the city to thwart crime. If you are a resident, chances are you're going to be on camera, probably more than most actors. Give that some thought. You don't want the people checking the videos saying things like: "Nice outfit lady" or "What an ugly dog, yeh, and the kid in the stroller is no bargain, either." 

#5. It turns out pot purchasers in LA are being hit with a version of "Sticker Shock" or more accurately "Tax Shock" when they take a hit of a 28% to sometimes a 40% tax. When asked about the tax, one customer replied, “This is like so uncool.”