1) Generation "Z" Teenagers are bored. With their Smart phones and unlimited Internet access they claim they have never been so bored. It seems, after a while, they've gone through everything there is to do on the device. Here is a idea for "The Bored" Try reading books. Get a library card and go checkout some books. There still might be a few available that some aggrieved group hasn't been able to ban for containing something, anything or everything that offends them. And kids you don't need to keep recharging a book.
2) The latest thing teens are doing for "fun" is posting videos of themselves snorting condoms. What? To accomplish this, the condom is put up one nostril and inhaled until it hopefully reemerges in your mouth. There is risk of choking but hey, life is full of risks. Some of the kids are eschewing condom snorting and sticking with eating Tide soap pods. Memo to Teens. Tide pods are for laundry and condoms are for cucumbers.
3) A recent ruling by a California judge orders a cancer warning on coffee containers served by 100 chains including Starbucks and 7-11. A 1986 law, passed by a ballot measure, requires any business with 10 or more employees to disclose any carcinogens in their products. Coffee contains a minuscule amount of acrylamide. So this wasn't due to goofy ruling by a goofy judge but rather due to a goofy law "we" passed. Relax. Your coffee won't give you cancer.
4) Zombie raccoons? In Pittsburgh there have been raccoons acting weird. They have been spotted, by residents, standing up on their hind legs, showing their teeth and then falling over backward going into almost a comatose condition. Also they are appearing in the daytime which is unusual. It's thought they have distemper. But maybe not. It might be something else. Animal Planet should do a take off on "The Walking Dead" and call it "The Walking Raccoons."
5) A 50 foot deep crack in the earth has appeared in Africa that some scientists say is a sign that the continent will split in two. Africans do have some time to prepare since it won't happen for 50 million years. They are really lucky compared to us. We are all faced with the real possibility California could break off and head out to sea any day.
(Tom Murphy is a writer, humorist, actor, disc jockey and an occasional contributor to CityWatch. He lives in Los Angeles.)