#  What to Do When You Hate Both Major Presidential Candidates: Reach for Your Johnson!

     Details    Ken Alpern   ![logo](https://www.citywatchla.com//templates/ja_teline_v/images/logo.png)         September 22 2016      [  ![](https://www.citywatchla.com/images/stories/Sept-2016/077a.png)    ](https://www.citywatchla.com/important-reads/11850-what-to-do-when-you-hate-both-major-presidential-candidates-reach-for-your-johnson)

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> ELECTION 2016--For those of us struggling to pull ourselves from our summer distractions, and who are now confronting this November's elections, it's an easy choice. Some of us looooove Clinton, and some of us looooove Trump. Some of us love neither...and may even hate both of them. So what to do...what to do...hey, I know! We should reach for our Johnson!
>
> Gary Johnson, that is, the Libertarian candidate who also ran in 2012. Now which Johnson you'll reach for is up to you, presuming that this is a "protest vote.” (For those who genuinely like Gary Johnson and his political platforms, you might want to stop reading right now.)
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> Many who claim to support Johnson (but really don't know which Johnson they're actually reaching for) may not be aware that:
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> \--Johnson not only favors "amnesty" for those here illegally, but strongly opposes the term "illegal immigrant" altogether.
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> \--Has viewpoints on legalization of drugs that place him further to the left than anyone else running for President.
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> \--Wants to cut the federal budget by approximately half, which includes education, the military, Social Security, and just about everything else...yet chose William Weld, known as a "Big Government" Republican from Massachusetts, as his running mate.
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> But for the rest of us who are STILL enraged and/or disgusted and/or offended and/or put off and/or distrusting of and/or annoyed by and/or oblivious to BOTH Trump *and* Clinton, there's always the option of grabbing your Johnson.
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> Will you grab your anti-Democratic Big Government Johnson, or will you grab your anti-GOP Christian Nation Johnson?
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> Hillary Clinton's health got you concerned -- they've got a catchy tune for her [coughing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1NhtqEHirs). No need to reach for your Advil...reach for your Johnson!
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> Donald Trump's [verbal antics](https://www.citywatchla.com/No%2520need%2520to%2520reach%2520for%2520your%2520Advil...reach%2520for%2520your%2520Johnson!) got you down? They've got a catchy tune for that, too. No need for seizures...seize your Johnson instead!
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> Sick of Clinton's endless [claims of chauvinism and sexism](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26-VzfBZg1w)? Then take hold of your Johnson -- he's a dude and he won't accuse you of gender discrimination if/when you disagree with him!
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> Sick of Trump's endless [calls for "the wall?"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVN17U3Vg34) No worries, just grapple your Johnson instead -- he favors open borders and empathizes with our neighbors to the south!
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> Hillary's [laughing off the inquiries and accusations](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqYJRc0TJkQ) leaving you with the impression she's just too evil for your tastes? Then nab your Johnson!
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> Donald's statements got you wondering if [Hitler's been reincarnated](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9-5DJhBh6M)? *Then lay your hands on your Johnson, and never let go!*
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> Will Mitt Romney, both former Presidents Bush, and John McCain take hold of their collective Johnson and [go third party this year](http://www.smobserved.com/story/2016/08/10/news/romney-mccain-bush-other-major-republicans-set-to-endorse-libertarian-gary-johnson-for-president/1713.html)?
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> Will former [Sanders supporters](http://www.motherjones.com/kevin-drum/2016/09/why-are-there-any-liberals-supporting-gary-johnson-list) snap up their collective Johnson and vote third party this time around?
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> Colin Powell and several other major political figures haven't taken a break on making their living from book-writing and the speaking circuit, and yet they still refuse to endorse either Trump or Clinton at this time. Are Colin Powell and the others each clutching their Johnson because they think the two main candidates are jerks, and they prefer a Johnson to a jerk?
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> Certainly the two-party system appears to have devolved from a real choice to an oligarchy of the "same ol’, same ol’," with the base of each party having to figure out which political leadership listens to and cares about the needs and hopes and fears and goals of average Americans.
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> Which means that each and every one of us, come Election Day, will have to choose between reaching for the lever to vote for the lesser of two evils...or reach instead for our own personal, private Johnson.
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> *(Ken Alpern is a Westside Village Zone Director and Board member of the Mar Vista Community Council (MVCC), previously co-chaired its Planning and Outreach Committees, and currently is Co-Chair of its MVCC Transportation/Infrastructure Committee. He is co-chair of the CD11Transportation Advisory Committee and chairs the nonprofit Transit Coalition, and can be reached at*  <alpern@marvista.org>***.*** *He also co-chairs the grassroots Friends of the Green Line at [www.fogl.us](http://www.fogl.us)****.*** *The views expressed in this article are solely those of Mr. Alpern.) Prepped for CityWatch by Linda Abrams.*
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> *-cw*

  - [  Previous Article **Better Brush Up on Your Russian Declensions … the Cold War is Back** ](https://www.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=11855:better-brush-up-on-your-russian-declensions-the-cold-war-is-back&catid=9)
- [  Next Article **Which is It, Hispanic or Latino?** ](https://www.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=11830:which-is-it-hispanic-or-latino&catid=9)
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