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# On Yom Kippur, Israel Must Decide What Kind of Family We Still Are
September 21 2026
Written by SHOSHANNAH KALAYDJIAN.
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A STUDENT'S VIEW - A young Jewish woman’s reflection on disagreement, responsibility, and remembering that our differences do not have to make us enemies.
Yom Kippur asks something difficult of us: not simply to look at what others have done wrong, but to confront what we ourselves may have done to one another. It asks us to stop, examine our behavior, admit where we have failed, and seek forgiveness even for wounds we caused while believing we were right. As a young Jewish woman, I believe that question carries special meaning this year.
My generation has grown up in a Jewish world filled with argument. We debate Israel, religion, politics, war, peace, security, democracy, and what Jewish identity should mean. Argument is not foreign to Judaism; in many ways, it is part of our tradition. But there is an enormous difference between disagreeing with someone and deciding that person no longer belongs.
Nearly three years after October 7, Israelis are still carrying extraordinary burdens. Families have buried loved ones. Reservists and their families have endured repeated disruptions. Communities have lived through fear, grief, and uncertainty. Meanwhile, political disagreements that existed long before October 7 have not disappeared. Some have grown deeper.
Israelis are going to disagree. Jews are going to disagree. The question is what happens afterward. Do we still see a fellow Israeli? Do we still see another Jew? Do we recognize the humanity of the person across from us? Or have we allowed politics to convince us that every disagreement requires an enemy?
Yom Kippur offers another way. Much of its confession is spoken in the plural: We have sinned. We have betrayed. We have acted wrongly. We do not stand before God simply cataloging everyone else’s failures. We stand together and examine our own.
Perhaps that is the national reckoning Israel needs not one in which the left demands repentance from the right, the right from the left, or religious and secular Israelis blame one another. Instead, Yom Kippur asks each of us a more uncomfortable question: What have I contributed to the division?
Did I share something because it was true, or because it embarrassed the other side? Did I listen to understand, or simply wait to respond? Did I reduce people to political labels? Did I assume someone who disagreed with me loved Israel less than I do? Those questions are harder than blaming politicians because they require something from us.
Since October 7, Israelis with profoundly different beliefs have protected one another, served beside one another, comforted one another, and mourned together. In moments of extraordinary danger and grief, political labels became smaller than the responsibility people felt toward one another. We should not need another catastrophe to remember that lesson.
Unity does not mean silence or abandoning convictions. Democracy depends on disagreement. But a functioning society requires something more: the ability to disagree without destroying the relationships that hold a nation together.
My generation will inherit the Israel that today’s leaders and citizens leave behind. I do not want a country where everyone thinks alike. That would neither be realistic nor particularly Jewish. I want an Israel where disagreement does not automatically become hatred; where religious and secular Israelis can argue passionately and still recognize one another as partners in the same national story; and where political opponents do not have to become personal enemies.
The world will continue debating Israel. Governments will criticize it. Supporters will defend it. Opponents will challenge it. But perhaps on Yom Kippur there is a more intimate question for Jews to ask before worrying about what the world thinks of Israel: What do we think of one another?
Can we still sit at the same table? Can we mourn the same dead? Can we accept that someone may love the same country, people, and tradition while imagining their future differently?
We do not need to become the same. We need to remember that we belong to one another.
When the final shofar sounds and the fast ends, politics and arguments will return. There will be another headline, another controversy, and another reason to choose sides. But perhaps we can return differently slower to condemn, more willing to listen, and less eager to turn disagreement into hatred.
We may think differently. We may pray differently. We may vote differently. But we are still fighting for the same home.
On Yom Kippur, we ask to be written and sealed in the Book of Life. Perhaps we should also ask ourselves what kind of life and what kind of Israel we are writing for the generation that comes next.
G’mar Chatimah Tovah.
*(**Shoshannah Kalaydjian** is a young Jewish student who writes about education, identity, and the challenges facing the next generation. Growing up in today’s climate, she has witnessed firsthand how rising antisemitism affects young people in classrooms and on college campuses. She is committed to sharing the perspectives of Jewish youth, amplifying student voices, and encouraging leaders to create safer, more inclusive environments for all students.).* Photo: Yonatan Sindel/Flash90
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